The Price of Love

What is the price of love? What are you willing to do for love?

I just came out of a relationship that turned out was based on a lot of lying. I cared so deeply for her. To be honest I am quite blind sided, to the point that they way I was treated sounded more like a plot in a movie than real life. And the fact that I am having a hard time realizing the person I thought she was is not who she is. It just doesn’t add up in my head that the person I loved could do this. How far are we willing to go for love, even though it has risk. We can get our heart broken, and get taken for what little we have. Is it worth it?

I have honestly never felt love like I did. It is the first time I really fought to keep it. That I gave of myself so openly. So to find out it was based on nothing real is a hard pill to swallow. To think that someone can say the words she said and then not really mean it, I still am confused on that one. Every cell in my body says run far, and I am, but my heart is lagging. I know she has dealt with a lot of hardship. But as well as she knows me, I don’t think I know her at all. I only wish I had the opportunity to talk and understand what happened, thought it would probably be something I do not want to hear.

Was it worth it? I have memories that I will cherish, even if they are based on a lie. I cant help but hold out some small hope that part of it was real. Even thought I want to hate her so badly I still love her. I miss who I thought she was. And I would gladly give up everything I have still if it meant she found peace and happiness. I hope for her children’s sake she figures out how to be the person I thought she was and not repeat the cycle. So I guess it was worth it. The pain was worth it. At least for now. I love to give, and some people love to take. Some people just dont know how to be loved, that doesn’t mean you don’t love them the same. I guess its a bitter pill to swallow but if you really love someone you do it with no expectation of return.