The Promise

The last few weeks have been hard for me. Despite learning something that has cut me deep I am getting ready to leave for a string of art festivals in Texas. I had a lot of doubts about even traveling this year. I struggle at times with imposter syndrome. At times as an artist I feel like I am creating beautiful worlds for people to fall into. And then in a second I can feel like I am faking it and not capable of creating again. I tend to let stress get to me. I take it out on people around me. 

When you find something out that makes you want to break your promise to someone how do you handle it? Do you give up? Especially when you no longer talk to the person. How long do you hold out hope to be able to help someone. How do you help someone who is damaged, when you know you are just as damaged. When you make a promise you hold onto it.

You keep it. Even if it’s only being available if they ever reach out for help you have to keep it and always be willing. At least I do. I may never get the opportunity, but I know in my heart I am here and still think about them. I hope to be able to lend a hand someday again, have an open honest dialog. But if not I will be ok.

I am leaving inside of the week for Texas. I am really excited now that it is getting closer. I think the time, distance, the road, will help. I want to find my calmness even if I have to do it far away. 

I have a lot of new work created from the most beautiful inspiration I ever had, and I am looking forward to sharing. 

This is where the silence grabs me
As the darkness surrounds me
The promise you made me

I push through the night with solitude
As I listen to the beat of my heart
It echos in the night air

Creating worlds to pass the time
and dedicating them all to you

How do I keep my promise 
When sound
Echos
Like my heart
Alone

I keep my promise and stand

Here

In the silence with my heart
Creating worlds
For you. As I promised

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6 thoughts on “The Promise”

  1. Avatar

    This is great I know a lot of artist struggle but you are making some good work so keep at it. I love seeing what you make.

    1. Avatar

      I am always trying to push myself. It is really a wax and wain I think for any artist. Thank you for the kind words.

    1. Avatar

      Thank you for that. I think we all have issues. I am not bothered by them at all, and am ok to be there for someone who does. But that is an interesting read. For me I just will keep doing what I do but if there is anything I can do to help in the future I will always be there for a friend.

  2. Avatar

    You are a great artist! And she is not worth it. She proved that when she lied and then would not even talk to you. Don’t make time for those who wont make time for you. I am sure nothing she said was true and the fact you gave everything back to her and she kept things to hurt you says it all. You wont hear from her I am sure, she is that kind of person if she doesn’t reach out. Go kick ass in Texas and for the rest of the year.

    1. Avatar

      Thank you so much my friend. I am afraid you are right. What sucks is there is art that I know she doesnt want, and wont take care of, but doesnt want to give it back. Things she will never use, that have a ton of meaning to me.

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